Rotary Sayonara Party
August 6, 2007
I said in my last post that everything seems to the the last of this, and the final of that. That in this past week, all I have been doing is saying goodbye, and having goodbyes thrown at me. Well, my final Rotary Goodbye Party took place on the evening after my last Koto practice. It was a night of tears, laughter, and memories. A night, I'll never forget so long as I live. And though, in theory, it was the end, I don't believe that. Not for a second. Besides the fact that I have a week left, at the party being around my 3 host families, all of whom I love dearly enough to consider closer that just people who took me in for a few months of the year, made me believe something. No matter where I go in the world, who I meet, and what I change, this place, Kochi, where I have just spent the last year of my life, will always be my home. Not the place I was born in, no doubt, but definitely the place that will always come to mind and stay at heart. The thing about these Sayonara parties is that no matter how small or big they are, I never quite have much of a feeling for them. Like last year, prior to leaving for Japan, my parents threw me a pool Sayonara party. I know I should have been excited because it was all about me, and everyone important in my life came to see me off. But I wasn't excited, or sad, I kind of just let it happen. I went through it, never really grasping the fact that the party was in my honor. It was the same feeling tonight. Even though everyone had come to see me off, for the last time, or, like my host families, to attend a party for their exchange student, it never really sunk in. MY Sayonara party, in my mind, was just sort of a party like all the ones I have attended this year. I guess the reason for this fact of the being able to accept that the party is about me, has some deep psychological reasoning in which my mind doesn't want to admit that I'm actually leaving. And so not accepting that the party is about saying goodbye to me is the way I avoid it. In the late afternoon of August the 6th, I was dressed in pajamas and chewing on a Azuki Ice Pop. My hair was wet, and I looked like I was about to go to bed. Instead I rushed upstairs and into my closet. I pulled out my White with colored flowers Yukata. Though I have 4 Yukata's, this is the one that I love dearly. I bought it myself, and I always planned on wearing it to my Goodbye party. Which was what I was doing. I have been able to put the Yukata on by myself, but it looks messy, so I called for the help of my host Mom. I thought she was doing a good job, until Mamiko, my third host sister, and recent return from a Kyoto University came in and yelled at her mother. Mamiko is 6 feet tall, and looks like she plays Volleyball professionally. Instead she does Japanese culture clubs, including putting on Yukatas. For fun. In her own spare time. Weird, right? She came in my room, and immediately began ripping apart my Obi and redoing it in a more perfect manner. I can't stress how hot it was, and how tight she was making it. I even asked her at one point, why she hated me so much. She just laughed. Afterwards, she, Michiyo, Okasan, and Toshiki put on Yukatas, then we all headed outside to wait for the cabs. We took a few pictures, and then we hopped into the cabs heading to Sansuien, where the party was to be held. We arrived very early, even Captain Jack, who is an early bird at these sort of thing, had not arrived. We waited, until I heard an English call, "Julie! Hey, what's up?" I turned around to see Kako, who spent last year in Madison, New Jersey arrive with her mother. Before I greeted her back I yelled at her to speak Japanese. She agreed and we were soon catching up about our past years. I learned that she attended my town's annual International Weekend and stayed with a family that is friends with my own. She also met my friends. Then she told me that she didn't want to leave America. She had just had the best year of her life, and leaving was the hardest thing she ever did in her life. I came up with an idea. We should switch places. She could back and be an American student, while I stay in Japan at Tojo. She thought it was brilliant, and together we laughed. Suddenly in came Captain Jack like a raging Seville Bull in Japanese Yukata. (That was probably the worst analogy I ever thought of) "Judii!! Computer! Need! AHHH English hate! Judii, anata no konpyutaa ga irimasu!" I handed over my computer, and then he was back to fight the bull fighter. What a strange pirate... Michiyo then whisked me off into a large room in the hall. It was smaller than most Rotary rooms, but I was content to have my party there. Captain Jack told me that I shouldn't expect to much from this party. I was a bit offended that he thought I would be offended that the party was going to be small, until he explained himself. Every year Rotary hosts 2 girls. The huge chunk up money put aside for the exchange students is split up two ways. But since I was the only Rotary student in Kochi, I had been pampered this year. I hate thinking about that. I don't like when people splurge on me, however, what I have discovered is that when you are good and follow the rules, you seemingly get rewarded. The party was to be a dinner for the members of the Rotary Kita Club. My sponsoring ROtary club was actually the Nishi Club, but their duty was finished in June. It was to be a night party, converged with the Sayonara party for me. Most of the club members had opted not to come, and it was mostly a party for me. When I entered the room, I felt like I had walked into a place filled with people from my life in Japan. Though none of my friends were allowed to come, the people who had been a part of my life in little ways were all here. The woman who put on my Kimono at my Sweet Sixteen party waved warmly to me. The drunk old men from the bus to Matsuyama, cheered as I walked on by. The second host father of last years exchange student, who secretly told my 4th host father that I was the best exchange student that Rotary had seen in years. The man who started the collection to buy me a steak at my first Rotary club, when they only served Raw Fish. The two Rotary Exchange leaders on Shikoku, Okuda-san from Kanonji, and Seno-san from Imabari, who had been there with me in Matsuyama, Okinawa, and Okayama. The English competition judges from the February English speech, which I helped to judge. Kako Ohara and Kozue takechi, who has spent the last year in America at ROtary exchange students. Marina Yamasaki and Ayaka Honda, the next Rotary exchange students to America. Matsuoka-sensei, my school and Rotary counselor. The presidents from all 7 Kochi Rotary clubs, whose hand I shook when receiving the banners. The Masaki's. THe Osaki's. And of course, the Katou's. There were so many more, and I was surprised by the size and who was there. I was seated at the front of the room next to Okuda-san, and the Rotary Kita club president. I watched as everyone shook hands and exchanged business cards as they always do at these type of meetings. At one point, the secretary came to the club leader to announce my third host family had arrived. When the president said, "That nice, but why do need to tell me this?" She replied with, "well we really don't have enough room." I burst out in a laughter, which caused everyone to stare at me. The president tried to ignore me, but he too was laughing. He then told the secretary that the party wasn't taking place in this room anyway, but to just ask them to stand until we move to the Garden. I asked him what he meant, and he told me that the party inside was only the Rotary introduction ceremony, while my party was to take place in the Garden in the nigh time. I was amazed. The Sansuien garden is gorgeous, especially at night, when the light up the trees, and spot flood lights on the table. Even though it was a steamy blistery summer night, I was excited. I peered out the window to the courtyard. 5 large white table clothed tables waited in the distance, and the summer crickets had already begun their hum. That sound, which exists in the summertime in America, is my favorite sound in the world. The party was going to be great, I told myself. With a little time before the beginning, Okuda-san asked me how I was doing. I have not seem him since Okinawa in October, so I quickly told him about that has happened, He was amazed at my Japanese, and reminded me that I was a great student for Japan. He also told me about the students coming to Shikoku next year, and admitted he was really worried. The Osakis had entered the room and were standing in the back, when the club meeting began. The president announced the purpose of the party, then he lead the group in singing the Japanese National anthem. I'm never sure if I should sing it or not. When they play the American National anthem, the Japanese try to attempt it. Try being the key word. Captain Jack goes into singing Opera, and finished in a funeral march. But I feel a little strange singing the Japanese song. Though I can say how much I love Japan, it not my country. Also, it's a beautiful song, no doubt, but it is nothing like the Star Spangled Banner, let me tell you. Afterwards, I did joined in with the group, in singing the Rotary song. I don't know the English version of the song, but I do quite well with the Japanese version. Then we were all seated. The president began announcing the names of all the non-members of the Rotary Kita Club. Each person is to shout, "Hai!" stand and bow to the president and to other members. He began with the all the Rotary members from other clubs, then went onto my hsot families. He first announced the Katou's. One by one, Otosan, Okasan, Michiyo, Mamiko, and Toshiki stood and bowed. Then he moved onto the Osaki's. It was hilarious when he called Kaho's name. She is a bit anto-social, so she refused to make eye contact or bow. Hikari, on the other hand, jumped up from the floor seat and shouted, "Hey! Hai!" She is a little chubby girl, and she wore a sun dress that did nothing for her. But no one could deny how cute the enthusiasm was. The president almost skipped the Masaki's, as they are members of the club, until Katou Otosan called out the mistake. Afterwards, we all headed into the garden and were seated at 5 large white tables. The sun was just setting, as I looked around at the setting. On the 2nd floor of the hotel, a huge white banner was posted up. It said "Julie's Sayonara Party" in Japanese. I couldn't be more surprised. There was also a huge screen, for where I would later be presenting my slide show pictures. At the table, I was sitting next to Michiyo and Otosan Katou. Across from me the Masaki's sat, and the table behind us was for the Osaki army. The other tables were filled with the other Rotarians who had come to see me off. The party began when Okuda-san was asked to do an opening speech. He is the head honcho of the exchange student business on Shikoku. He just talked about what a change is it to have an American student in Kochi that made everyone have faith in the program. He did some Julie praising, and then began talking about how happy he was. It was weird, until he explained the reasons. He began with how unfortunate the 2 girls who came to Kochi last year were. He tried to be as Japanese as possible in not being firm and direct about how bad they were. He also added stories about a few of the other exchange students from Shikoku to America and Australia, who had some unfortunate experiences. Yet tonight, he spoke with Kako, Kozue, and Julie, 3 beautiful and amazing girls, he went on to say. Each girl told him that they did not want to leave their host country, for they had made lasting bonds with host families, powerful friends, and taught the other culture about their own country, These girls, he added, were the reason that Rotary continues a program that doesn't always have good results, as seen in last years exchange students. However, when they do provide successful results, it is a powerful and wonderful thing to see. He looked at the 3 of us, smiled, and said that were 3 of the best ambassadors of our countries, Rotary, and of ourselves that he had ever seen. Rotary and out countries were proud. He was sorry that we had to return to our respective countries, but was sure we would continue to make a difference in the world. He bowed, then, and returned to his seat. Tosajoshi teacher, and Rotary connection, Matsuoka-sensei was called up next. He stood up and talked about his experience with the program. Then he called me up, and presented me with a certificate from Okuda-san that I had completed a successful year in Japan, and proof that I had attended Tosajoshi High School. As he returned to the seat, Captain Jack asked him if he could get me a job as a English teacher at Tojo when I was finished with college. He laughed, but replied that if there was an opening, I would be the forst to get it. When he was finished speaking, the waitors suddenly emerged carrying bottles of Beer for the adults and tea for the rest. When one waitor filled my glass with Tea, Captain Jack asked her to bring me Orange Juice, because I don't drink Tea. But Katou Okasan told the same waitor that I would be fine with tea. Captain Jack was shocked as I laughed at him. A friend of his, who he was talking to got up and came to speak with me. He asked me if I remembered him, and I admitted that I didn't. To not offend him, I added that I had met alot of people this year, and it was hard to remember everyone. He chuckled and told me that a year ago, at my first Rotary Kita club attendance, I refused to eat the raw fish that was served. It was he, who started a collection, but ended up buying my a huge pink and juicy steak. "Oh WOW!" I said remembering that hilarious experience. He, too, was remembering the experience because he was laughing pretty hard. I then told him now, I don't even really like steak, but LOVE raw fish. He stopped laughing, and then said, "Are you serious? Tonight's dinner is Yakiniku (a type of steak)" I felt like an idiot, but he began laughing again and told me that there would be Sushi as well. And if I still wasn't happy he would buy me a full plate of Raw Fish. When all the drinks were filled, it was time for the usual Kampai. THis time, the toast was to the successful year of exchange student Julie Garner. Even though most of the men were through with their first (and Katou Otosan was on his third) beer, the Kampai was successful. I smashed glasses with my host family and the Masaki's. Hikari came running over from the other table adn we too smashed together out glasses. Then I drank up my Tea. Dinner was brought out next. On the middle of the table, was large plates of Sushi rolls, Chinese food that was Buda Niku (Pork), Shrimp, Squid Salad, Fried Clams, and to the side of the party were chefs cooking Yaki Niku, a type of Korean steak over cabbage, and Yakisoba, or fried noodles. I pretty much inhaled the Buda Niku, and got some of the Yaki Niku. I ate it all as quickly as possible, so that I could go talk to people. But I was silent through everything else. Like, I mentioned earlier, it had not really sunk in that this was about me. But what had sunk in, was the everyone was saying goodbye. The words that they use "genki da ne" mean something please stay in good health. But to me they mean, "Stay in good health for the rest of your life." In that context, it seems like these people are never going to see me again. Katou Otosan, who I haven't really gotten as close to as I had Captain Jack and Osaki Otosan, noticed my silence. He also knew what was wrong, because he pulled me aside, and said something that made me feel a whole better. He said that it was annoying to him to hear all these people tell me goodbye. That maybe for them it was goodbye, but for the Katou's, at the very least, it was only see you until next time. This Sayonara party was not really a goodbye, because he promised that the family would come to visit me in America and I was always welcome back. Coming from him, it made me feel much better. I'm really getting exhausted of goodbyes. I feel like everytime I have to say the stupid word, and little piece of me chips off. I know for the people that saying the word is hardest to, like my host families, and close friends, actually is see you until next time. But I forget that sometimes, and need to be reminded. His words may have saved me for the rest of the night. And when I was finished eating the first place I went was to the Osaki's. I told Okasan that I had heard from Rob Case, my friend from the Short Stay trip. His family was hosting her son Yu for a few days while he visited New Jersey. She was so relieved to hear that Yu was alright, and enjoying himself, and was amazed how small the world is and how many connections we all had. I also asked her when the family had some free time, because I wanted to come and visit them one last time. We agreed that the next morning, before Hikari left for her Grandma's would be best. Then I went to speak with my teacher, but before I could get around to it, Captain Jack was pointing me to my computer. Thinks went downhill from this point. Though Okamura-san and Captain Jack had figured out to work the computer just last week in the projector, they could not figure out how to do now. The Slideshow was the most important part of my part of the party, and I nearly cried when as I watched the men configure with my computer. Meanwhile, to keep people entertained, a few of the guests did some speeches. I thought at first, that they were doing it to keep people busy, but I was relieved to find out that this extra boring speech giving was part of the agenda. Kako and Kozue went first, and talked about their wonderful experience in America. Marina and Ayaka went next and talked about how excited they were. Then when no one was left, Captain Jack was called up. THe host familes were supposed to do a small speech after my part, but we were quickly running out of time. I stood at the side, nearly in tears over the slideshow, when Captain Jack took the microphone. I want to type out his speech word for word, but I wasn't able to understand it all, so I'll do my best to put down exactly what he said. "My family was the first host family for Julie. Although we were actually supposed to be the second family. Her first family dropped out of Rotary, because they didn't want to be forced into hosting again. Why? Well they were the first host family for last year's student. When we first got her application, and a picture from last year's exchange student's mother, we were nervous. She was kind of fat, and had chubby cheeks like Anpanman. We even called her Anpanman for a little while. Then at the airport, she was much more different than those pictures. But there were other things we were worried about. She came her with no language skills, knowledge of the culture, and was 15 years old, or a Middle School student! She didn't eat alot, and for the first few days she was really quiet. I'm embarrassed to admit I was nervous about her. We all were, especially with what happened with last years girls. Yet every morning she studied Japanese, and was quickly able to read Hiragana, Katakana, and basic Kanji. She started school, and began picking up the language like a sponge. Around October, I was telling other people she was my second daughter. It was a joke of course, but, look at me, now crying my eyes out. She calls Naoko, our only child, her big sister, and the two are very close. Naoko is even going to visit it her in September. I never ever had a moment where I regretted hosting Julie. Instead, she kept us laughing. In December, we went to Kurashiki, Okayama. She liked to study maps, and the sea between Shikoku and Honshuu in ENglish is called the Inland sea (Inland in Japanese pronounciation is like InRan) I heard Inran, and thought she was calling me an Inran, until she explained herself. (Inran is English is a lecher, or a man who thinks about Sex all day long) People who listen to us, think we would be a hilarious comedy duo. And it's weird to think I have more inside jokes with a 16 year old American teenager than most of my friends. I want to keep talking, and telling you all about how much fun we had hosting Julie, but I can't. THis crying is embarrassing me. I'm supposed to be Captain Jack a pirate. Julie? I speak for all the Masaki's when I say thank you from the bottom of my heart. Please don't forget Japanese, and come back as soon as you possibly can!" The tears first broke in his eyes when he was insulting me. I think, even though I know he didn't feel bad about taking some cheap shots at me, he could not help but cry. I lost it around the time he brough up the closeness between Naoko and I. And I pretty much made a fool out of myself as I ran back to my seat to listen, ignoring the stupidness of my computer problem. If you have read most posts, then you know just how close I am with the Masaki's. And because of this closeness, his words did not surprise me. Instead, they filled me with a determined belief. I am coming back to Japan, no matter the circumstances. I will not forget this language, and these people. The Osaki's went next. Okasan grabbed the microphone, as she stood in the middle of Otosan, Hikari, Kaho, Maako, and Obachan. Unfortunatly I didn't write down everything that she said, like i did with Captain jack's speech. So most of what I put is just guess work with help from the Katou sisters. She talked about how when she lived in America she remembered that the houses with big and wide, and 9 people and 3 cats didn't live in them, like they did when I moved into the Osaki's. She was really worried about this, but to her surprise, I adapted really well. THings were never easy, I always found something to be bothered by. SHe explained that her oldest kids were shy and introverted, that I thought they didn't like me. She then made a point in saying that once I learned that that is how the Japanese teenager culture is, things changed. I got really close to the younger girls, and participated in Synchronized Swimming with them. She laughed about this, but then she began crying. She started to talk about how I became so part of the family, that they didn't even pay any extra attnetion to me after awhile. I was there, watching Dramas at night time, being driven to Kuroshio Arena on Wednesdays, and eating dinner with the family on the family nights. She then thanks me for all the experiences and in our inside joke, said, "I miss you!" Then she handed the Mic to Hikari who yelled 'Come Back!' The family headed back to their seat but Obachan wanted a turn at the Mic. She beagn crying as she talked about what fun it was while I lived there. And that now she was planning a trip to New York to come and visit me. She mentioned how apart of the family, I had become. Every morning her Daughter in Law made me lunch, and waved goodbye. Then her tears got to powerful, and she had to sit down. Throughout the entire Osaki speech, I was crying, and Michiyo, sitting next to me, was trying not to laugh. She told me I sounded like I was choking. As they sat down, the projector in the back came to life. My computer had been figured out, I could have wet myself with how happy I was over this. Katou Otosan stood up and went to the front of the party for the Mic. He was calm, but in a cool style that he is known for began his speech. He took a cheap shot at Obachan Osaki. "So I don't have any stories of filled lunch boxes to tell you..." He went to say that he didn't have too much time to get to know me with work schedule. Yet his wife and kids had gotten to know me, and really enjoy having me live at their home. He sort of yelled at everyone as well. He told everyone that they expected so much out me this year. I was always practicing for the next speech, being forced to obligatory appearences, and that tonight's party had made me more nervous than excited. I worked for hours on a slide show and speech. And then I came here only to have a million people tell me Goodbye. He didn't think it was fair. He talked about the hiking trips we had all gone on, and dinners we had eaten together. He fought hard to keep in the tears that have overcome the Masaki and Osaki speakers. In the end, he bowed and thanked me from the bottom of his heart. It was my turn. Pushing aside the tears, and the lump that had accumilated in my throat, I stood up. I walked to the front of the party, and prepared my computer. Then I began, in Japanese, of course. "Good Evening everyone! DO you all remember August 17th of last year? THat is when I landed in Kochi for the first time. My ROtary counselor asked me to do a speech. I should have known then I'd be asked to do more speeches, even harder and less fun. Before I cam to Japan, I studied absolutely no Japanese. And thus, my speech was "HELLO... english english english" Now I am having my ROtary Goodbye party. I wanted to show you all some pictures of my year. This slideshow is called Julie in Japan... Please Enjoy!" I had crafted a slideshow, using difficult Kanji that showed all the happenings of my year in Japan. Music did exist, but I worried my computer might explode if it handled anything else. And so, for the 10 minutes that the slideshow played, it was utterly quiet. I was horribly nervous. THe silence made me think that they all hated it, no one laughed or smiled. I sat there nearly crying at how terrible it must be. To drine out the cricket sound of silence, the hotel played some music in the background, but it didn't help. I was relieved when it was over. The first thing I said was ask how they liked it. THey said was good, and Captain Jack shouted it was perfect. I believed him, but not anybody else. Michiyo later told me that everyone remains quiet doing slide shows it's just part of the culture. The Osaki's told me it was good, but that I should have explained each picture rather then relying on a subtitle. I thought about it, and I was too upset, and probably wouldn't have been able to speak very much without crying. I wasn't as strong at this party, as I was when I finished up with school. I concluded the speech with, "I have to return to America on August the 13th, but like Kako and Kozue, I don't want to go back. I love my host families, friends, school, and life in Japan. EVeryone, I will never forget all of your amazing kindness for the rest of life. I thank you deeply from the bottom of my heart for everything." returned to my seat amidst the enormous applause from the party members, the crying of the Masaki's, cheering of the Katou's, and the laughter of the Osaki's. My life. My families. The party was ending, but I was determined to get one picture. I needed to have a picture with all of my host families. I sort of had a mini fit, when Katou Otosan decided to be the camera man. "Get in this picture NOW!" I screamed. Standing in the middle of a group of Japanese people, all of whom, I have come to know and respect in some way. A year ago, when I was celebrating at Verona Pool, my Going Away party from America, the thought that one day I would be surrounded by 3 loving Japanese families in a picture, never occured to me. As did the idea of having an amazing first host family, in which I became a little sister, and had a host father who believed he was a pirate, while telling people I was his second daughter. A third host family with 9 people, in which I learned the most about how important a family really is. A fourth host family, which I was back to being the baby of the family, only this time with 4 older siblings. Once along time ago, I wrote a story called Peek, in which the main character gets the chance to look into the future. I never wrote an ending to the story. But I think I have some idea how I would want it to end. When she gets back into real time, she asks to have her Memory whipped. She would prefer it all to come as surprise. The future, that is. I often find myself saying, "I never expected to get Japan..." And it is the truth, as is the fact that I would have it no other way. But I am so glad, I did not know what I was in for. I'm glad I came here with nothing, no language, knowledge, or experience. Because with nothing, it forced me to make the best of an already amazing experience. It forced me to experience everything, and decide what I like. With this snap shot, my year came to an ending on the highest note possible, surrounded my 3 families that love me, and whom I love, as well. While all the other Rotarians said goodbye to me, and wished me well in the future, I won't lie and say I didn't feel upset. I don't know most of these people very well, and I certainly don't know them as well as I know my host families. However they all played a part, however small it was, in the best year of my life. And all deserve some recognision for it. But in my head as I bowed and shook hands, I replayed Katou Otosans words over and over again. And for the people that matter the most at that party, I refused to admit that it was the end. I'm going to Osaki's tommorrow, the Masaki's in a few days, and I'll see the Katou's every morning until the 13th. But when the 13th does come, I know that it won't really be the end for these families. I'm coming back to Japan, they all know it, just as much as I do. THis place is to special to me, to just forget about. I'm coming back, and that is a promise that I don't think have a choice about whether or not to keep.
Back To Julie in Japanland...
