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Here is the archive as well as the place I put especially interesting quotes I hear along my exchange. Some are funny, some are stupid, but all in all these are somethings I'm not going to want to forget. I get alot of comments about how sometimes these quotes aren't funny or witty or they just don't make sense. My response: It's a Japanese thing.
November 2006:: On My Japanese At 2 Month Mark:
Friend's Mom: Do you enjoy school?
Me: Okonomiacki is my favorite food.
Friend's Mom: What clubs do you do?
Me: I like History.
Friend's Mom: How old are you?
Me: I come from America.
Friend's Mom: When will you return home?
Me: I have one sister.
Friend's Mom: Wow her Japanese is great!
August 21, 2006: My first host father, Masaki Otosan and Me having a usual conversation in English.
Otosan: Do you like Badmitton?
Me: Yes but I'm very competitive.
Otosan: Compettitiveu. Competiveu. Comptetiveeu. Com--pe-ti-tuvue.
*I roll around in laughter.*
August 2006: "Japan is like curry... once you start you can't stop. Even if sometimes it really stinks."
-Australian ALT to me
-In my Monday Middle School class, the teacher and I were trying to teach the names of countries and cities in English.
Mrs. Fabian: "Okay class where's Jakarta?"
Class: "GERMANY!!!"
Me: "No it's in Indonesia"
One Middle School Girl: "India? I like Indian food!"
December 2006-
Otosan Masaki: "Oh my god!"
Me: "What!?!?"
Otosan Masaki: "It's a fat gaijin! All gaijin are usually fat."
Me: "HEY!!!"
Otosan Masaki: *realizes insult* "Except for you."
November 5, 2006: Daughters::
Otosan Masaki (to some random lady): We have 2 daughters now, Naoko and Julie
October 28, 2006: 2 Exchange discussing one weird aspect of Japanese school girls.
Me: I haven't really gotten over the fact that they pluck their arm hair right n the middle of class, ya know? Is it weird or just me?
Althea (from Aus): Yeah I have seen girls in my school pluck their nose hair.
November 2006: "Don't worry Naoko, is a terrible singer too!"
-Otosan Masaki, yet again doing his best to compliment
Febuary 5, 2006:: On the usual good humor of the lovely well-behaved Monday English conversation class:
1.]Ms. Fabian: What's the name of the Japanese sun god?
Student: Mother Theresa
2.]Ms. Fabian: Name the area. I'll give you a hint, it's between North and South America.
Student: Canada!
3.]Student: I am Japanese. No, she isn't. I'm the English language.
4.]Ms. Fabian: A great word to describe you is, unique.
Student: You hear that everybody? HAHA! I'm unique. What's unique?
December 31, 2006:: On Evolution:
My Oono host mom's view on our ancestory: "Gaijins evolved into pretty looking things. Japanese ancestors looked like monkeys."
"No you aren't fat! You look like Kirsten Dunst and Anpanman. You just have big cheeks."
-Otosan Masaki about Me
:: On Rent:
If you ever want a laugh, try teaching a Japanese person the words to the Rent song, 525,600 minutes.
"Fiba Souzand Nindy Sree Hundre Sree hundre minutzu" will be your best responce from Otosan Masaki.
December 2006:: On Truth: "Good luck on your exams- though I hope you all fail you rotten little monsters!" -Ms. Fabian, showing her true side knowing that her worst class can't understand a word.
January 2007: On Cell Phone Companies::
Me: My exchange student friends spread throughout the country think that I go to a really weird school because alot of our lunch conversations are arguments about what cell phone provider is better. Au or Docomo.
Sensei: Oh that's silly! Docomo, of course!
Me: No way! Au is much better, it has all the features- oh dear god why am I having this stupid conversation with you?
:: On typical conversation between two foreigners trying to discover the meaning of being and living Japanese..
_"So they spit in Japan. So they work too hard. So what? So they behave like tigers when riding on a subway, get drunk, and are quite happy to bribe the landlord by paying him money. In New York they kill each other!"
*"Quite so. Quite so. But at least in New York they talk to each other and don't fall asleep on the subway."
_"That's because if you fall asleep in the subway on New York, you wake to find your wallet gone. And possibly a Kidney! That's why people stay awake in New York!"
January 2007: On Stereotypes that are true:
Dad: What's your next family like?
Me: They have 4 kids.
Dad: That's really unJapanese, isn't it?
January 8, 2007: On Blood::
Mari-chan: WHat's you blood type?
Me: O
Mari-chan: Oh now I understand why your room is a mess.
January 2007:: On studying a foreign language and what it does to simplest things::
Student: How do you spell February?
Me: Ah, that's easy. F-e-b-u-a-r-y.
Student: Really? Are you sure there aren't two r's?
Me: Positive. Why would there be two R's?
February 3, 2007: On Setsubun::
Teacher A: "Setsubun is a very interesting holiday. It goes to show just why Japanese people can not have an imagination. In todays day and age, students spend their lives in school, sports, clubs, and cram school. If they had any free time they'd come up with more stupid holidays that involve throwing beans out a window to banish demons. And then having to eat the same amount of beans as your age."
Me: "Wow that is harsh!"
Teacher B: "He's just mad because this year he has to eat 40 beans."
February 2007:: On What Is Actually Old:
Teacher: "There isn't anything really special about Kochi Castle."
Me: "Oh yeah? Why's that?"
Teacher: "It's boring and it's not very old."
Me: "It's older than my country."
Febuary 6, 2007:: On more funny racist comments from the Japanese:
Me: I don't understand Japan. Kids go to school and learn English grammar for 3 times a week in 4 years. And yet Japanese tee-shirts can't put English together in the right order. It's never right!
Mari-chan (host mom): That's because it's made in China.
February 21, 2007: On Slang:: Yano-sensei after speaking with me for a few minutes in Japanese, turns to the class and says;
"Okay which one of you is teaching her BAD slang."
Email- Febuary 13, 2007
Amanda Hansen: I'm going to write a book, "What NOT To Do In Japan: The Julie Garner Story."
Febuary 19, 2007:
Ms. Fabian: Yeah Kochi is really really messed up. I mean it's so isolated. This is the place they sent all the political freaks and criminals of old school Japan.
Me: So it's kind of like our country.
February 13,2007:: On Examining My Exchange after 6 Months::
Me: "I'm at the half way mark of my exchange to Japan. Now looking back I've overflowed a bathtub, called a teacher beautiful, also called a colorblind girl horny, (because in both cases the word is the same thing! sort of) forgotten how to spell February, and that you capitalize months, gotten half the answers wrong on an English test, been kanchoed, had my arm hair plucked off by mad Japanese girls, been called Kawaii more than the amount of people there are in this world, broken a whole carton of groceries from tripping on the tiny steps, failed my school uniform test on 9 counts, Christianed an aquarium in Okinawa (you had to be there), forgotten how to use a fork and knife, been butt naked in an onsen and not even cared, been hit by a car, nearly wet myself at the sight of another gaijin in Kochi, have trouble saying words like Door (Doa) and Hamburger (Hambagu) without Japanese intonation, and many more that I can't remeber because I can't think clearly without a mix of Japanese words."
Teacher: "Sounds like your having fun."
Me: "Now that's an understatement."
February 21, 2007:: On Being A Hick::
Me: People keep telling me I speak really great Tosa Ben, which is the Shikoku dialect. Now I'm poisoned in that when I go to Tokyo or any other civilized part of Japan, I'm not only a gaijin, but I'm a gaijin that talks like a hick.
Febuary 15, 2007:: On Life At A Vegetarian:
Teacher: Jurie-chan yo favorito food, what?
Me: Oh, I love steak!
Teacher: Ah! I knowed it! Jurie-chan is vegetarian.
2/22/ 2007:: On Disbelief Over Gaijinity::
Me: "I run this website and I write the usual things that happen to me. People don't always believe me though. Or they say I'm just really funny. But it's just... I'm living life in Japan. That probably doesn't make much sense."
Ms. Fabian: "Oh it makes more sense than you know."
February 27, 2007:On The Japanese Thinking Ahead::
Ms. Fabian: I just got back from pictures. They took the a group shot of the whole staff for this year.
Me: Why? The school year is almost up. Don't you think it's a bit late?
Ms. Fabian: You don't give the Japanese enough credit. What if someone died halfway through this term. Would you want them in the picture?
March 12, 2007: On Famous Characters of Japan::
Naoko: "Hello Kitty is so cute! I love her. Don't you?"
Me: She doesn't have a mouth.
Naoko: ...Oh... right. What about Draemon?
Me: A robotic cat with no ears.
Naoko: Point taken. But you must like Anpanman?
Me: A man made of bread, that detaches his head and lets hungry people eat it. What is it with Japan's national characters and missing body part?
Naoko: ...Wow... we are strange, aren't we?
March 12, 2007: On Being A Family Member::
Otosan Masaki: Yes Obachan Masaki was 4 grandchildren and Julie and Sakura of course.
March 5, 2007: On Torrential Downpours::
Me: When I was 9 years old, a hurricane hit New Jersey. It was bad, my trampoline floated away. I thought I'd seen it all, and then I walked to school in today's weather. I swear a Tornado must have mated with a Hurricane. Where did it come from?
Ms. Fabian: That? That's just a little drizzle! Wait till Rainey season.
February 26, 2007: On Troubles in the Osaki Household::
Me: So it's been a little over a week. Is there any thing I'm doing that you don't like? Does anybody have troubles with me in anyway?
Okasan Osaki: Well... it's just...
(I'm suddenly horrified at the fact that I've done something wrong.)
Okasan Osaki: You don't use the bathroom. We worry.
Me: *Snorts* I use the upstairs.
Okasan Osaki: Oh Thank god! We had some... well... worrysome thoughts...
Me: I can imagine.
March 14, 2007:On Funny Japanese Words::
Me: What's Tug-of-War in Japanese?
Aimi: Tunahickey
Me: Now those are two words I never in my life thought I would ever say at the same time.
March 12, 2007:On McDonalds::
Naoko: Have you seen the new Mega Mac at McDonalds?
Me: How could I miss it? The thing makes Godzilla look miniscule.
Naoko: Yeah when I first saw it I thought I was back in America.
Me: Nope not even the fat American's could eat that beast.
April 12, 2007: On Taiwanese Medicine::
Me: I feel sick.
Osaki Otosan: I know just the trick. Here have these pills. They may stink and look kind of funny but they work great. They are from Taiwan, you know.
Me: The look like rabbit poop.
*Rolls on floor in rabbit*
March 23, 2007: On Blood Types::
Me: What's your blood type?
Chiake: Gaijin aren't allowed to ask that! You supposed to make fun of Japanese people for believing in that stuff.
Me: I bet your an A
Chiake: Wow you're good!
April 2, 2007: On Mom on Kyoto::
"This is like New York, only nicer."
April 6, 2007: On Mom's Star Wars Reference::
Julie: Tonight we are eating...
Mom: Obi Wan Kenobi
Julie: Well, Okonomiacki, but close enough
April 2, 2007: On Rat Shrines::
Mom: "What kind of an idiot would make a shrine dedicated to rats?"
Me: "Welcome to Japan!"
April 4: On More Brilliance from First Time Hungry Gaijin::
Julie: Well they have pizza here, but it's really expensive. Sometimes like $6 a slice.
Nana: I'd pay that much for a friggen goddamn slice of Pizza.
Julie: Well it has Tuna and Mayonaise on it.
Nana: Oh sh*t.
Julie: At least they have McDonals's here.
Nana: Yeah and that's even sucky.
Julie: But you eat without a problem.
Nana: Julie, if your hungry you can sh*t. Just not Japanese sh*t.
April 4, 2007:: On Last Rites:
Nana (a little wiped out from sleeping pills, hunger, and a new culture): When I die, I want my ashes spread out on the ocean at Point Pleasant.
Julie: Why not the beach?
Nana: Because I don't want some fat-a$$ sitting on me.
Julie: How about I take you and spread you around the world?
Nana: I'll be dead. I don't want to be following your a$$ around.
Julie: What about Japan? Maybe we should spread you here? Oh wait, you don't want to come back here.
Nana: You bet your a$$ I'm not coming back here.
Julie: Why are we even having this discussion.
Nana: Because this damn country might just kill me.
April 4, 2007: Even more Brilliance from Tired Gaijin::
Nana: Okay so today we dressed up like Geese.
Julie: Geisha.
Nana: Next we are going to Hoochi Goochi, where they dropped the bomb.
Julie: Yup.
April 6, 2007: On Why Nana is Crazy::
Nana: Yeah I was 5 months old when Pearl Harbor happened. My mother used to say that when it happened she was so shocked she dropped me on my fat head. I've never been right since.
April 7, 2007: On Middle Fingers::
Mom (to Nana): I'm suprised you middle finger isn't always cramped, because you are constantly using it.
April 4, 2007: On Nana's Taxi Experience::
Nana: Well since I can't speak Japanese, and that nice fellow couldn't speak English, we drove around until I saw this big red gate things. I screamed for him to stop, threw him a 1000 yen, and tried to make a run for it. I hate how you can't just tip people here. But that fellow chased me out the car with the change. Odd country.
April 7, 2007:: On Interesting Looks:
Me: Nana, you look like a sperm.
April 5, 2007: On the Savior::
Julie: There is a Haagon Daaz ice cream machine on the third floor.
Nana: Oh thank god, maybe we want starve to death tonight.
April 28, 2007: On Nerves::
Julie: I don't understand why I can do a speech in front of 2,000 girls in a language I can't understand. But not be able to play an instrument in front of a few 100 without being nervous.
Chiake: You shouldn't be nervous.
Julie: But you are.
Chiake: (raising her eyebrows and trying to hint something.) No.
Julie: You just threw up in the bathroom.
Chiake: I don't understand your Japanese.
April 14, 2007: On Abuse::
Me: Otosan you have a huge scrape on your eye? How did you get it?
Otosan Osaki: I was working at the company without a helmet... *demonstrates walking into a bar*
Me: Oh I thought you were fighting or something.
Otosan Osaki: Oh yes! Well my wife has taken punches at me before.
Okasan: WHAT?!?
April 27, 2007: On Tremors::
Paula: Julie, are you okay?
Julie: I wet my pants. I need to go to the bathroom.
-Later-
Julie: You're never going to let me live that one down are you.
Paula: I'll have to think about it.
April 29, 2007: On the Single Reason Why English is Better Than Japanese::
Julie: That sucks. And you know what sucks worse than that.
Paula: I really can't imagine.
Julie: It's that the Japanese language doesn't have a way to say that sucks. Because that sucks!
April 29, 2007: On Names::
Julie: I'm sorry I'm terrible with Japanese names.
Chiake: She's not kidding, it took her like 3 months to remember my name.
New Girl: Well my name is kind of hard to remember...
Chiake: Just try and teach her.
New Girl: I'm Nozomi.
Julie: OH! The Bullet Train's name. I'll remember that.
*Everyone cracks up, while Chiake begins choking on a milk candy*
April 30, 2007: On Things We Thought We'd Never See::
Okasan Osaki's Mother: My life is officially fullfilled. I had never thought I would see the day when a 16 year-old Gaijin spoke Tosa Ben (Kochi dialect, spoke by farm people) Yet here I am, listening to my daughter's exchange student speak like a Hillbilly. Oh yes- I have seen it all.
May 15, 2007: Even More Racism from Japan::
Morita-sensei- Yes Alyssa from New York was such a great exchange student in that she learned Japanese. But her personality was bad. Everyone hated her. She wasn't nice, and friendly. She was Jewish.
May 4, 2007: On Long Car Rides With The Osakis::
Hikari: I'm hungry! When and what is lunch?
Maako: I want to go shopping! Let's stop now.
Julie: I have to go to the bathroom.
Hikari and Maako: Are we almost there?
Kaho: Shut up! Annoying!
June 4, 2007: On How To Starve Julie::
Otosan Kato: For a foreigner, you do eat a lot of Japanese food that most people wouldn't even touch.
Julie: Yeah I guess so
Otosan: But you have also told me what you won't eat. And I created the best dish ever with all of your hated foods. Ikura Pasta With an Umeboshi and a side of Nato (Fish Egg pasta covered in Pickled Plums with a side of the foulest food in the world.) I'm going to be rich with a dish like this.
Julie: I do expect compensation for giving you that idea.
May 28, 2007:On Quiet::
Okasan Osaki: So how do you like the new family?
Julie: They are okay... just really quiet.
Okasan Osaki: A Machine Factory would be quieter than what you had living at my house.
May 24, 2007: On Fishy Changes::
Captain Jack: Juri! hahahahahahahaha
Julie: What's wrong? What did I do now?
Captain Jack: Do you remember your first Rotary meeting?
Julie: How could I forget?
Captain Jack: Hahaha. You were so stubborn. We served raw fish and you refused to even try it. The whole table started a collection to order you a large steak. I don't believe it. You are actually gorging on raw Tuna now!
June 7, 2007: On Fun Kanji Names::
Julie: I could be very wrong, but is this name what I think it is?
Paul: What do you think the name is?
Julie: Fukuyu
Paul: Oh god you may actually be right.
Julie: *roars with laughter*
June 12, 2007: On What I Miss::
Morita-sensei: I saw your new page on the website. Julie, what do you miss most about America?
Julie: Orange Juice.
Morita-sensei: *bursts in laughter* Don't you miss your friends and family.
Julie: On yeah, I miss them too. Alot, actually. But it tends to change everyday. Like yesterday, I missed Tide Laundry Detergent. Saturday, I was moaning for Cool Whip. Oh and last week, I would have killed for Scotts Toilet Paper. *Sees confused expression* And you have no idea what any of this stuff is.
June 12, 2007; ON Why Gaijin Are Not Supposed To Kanji Names::
Julie: Okasan, look! I'm going to name my second daughter Natsuki, with the Kanji for Summer and Rare.
Okasan: No that's a bad combination.
Julie: Why?
Okasan: Because it actually says Suspicious Stranger of Summer. What other names have you played with?
Julie: Well I've made Kanji names for all of my American friends... what do you think?
Okasan: Shannon- Warm Sand. Roshani- Slanted Sakura of Charity. GOod god.....
:On Trading Jokes:: June 28, 2007
Captain Jack: I'm just worried that my speech [for the short stay New Jersey exchange students] won't be very funny.
Julie: Since you taught me some good Japanese jokes, I'll give you some good Jersey jokes. First ask everyone, "What exit are you from?"
Captain Jack: "Whatto exitsu ar yu furumu?"
Julie:Well close enough. Then say, "New Joisey"
Captain Jack: Jajo, Jaji, Joiji, Jazei, Jaruzee.
Julie: Maybe we ought to just stick to just Japanese
June 29, 2007: On English For a Beginner::
Yui (student): What word is this, Judii-sensei?"
Julie: Pure. Spell it. Puuree...
Yui: Su? Qu? Ru?
Julie: No PU
Yui: Tu?
Julie: No! P-u. P-U. P-U
Yui: Ok I got it. How about this?
Julie: Fun.
Yui: F-U?
Julie: Excuse me? Oh, yeah right. F-U. Seriously F-U
:On Being Japanized:: July 4, 2007
Becky: What does it mean when you wave your hand side ways back in forth like you smell something bad?
Julie: Oh its the gesture for something that is wrong.
Rob: But you were doing it on the phone. The person on the line couldn't see you.
Becky: Yeah and you were bowing too.
Rob: Good! I thought that was what she was doing.
Julie: Shut up! I've been here tooo long!
On Stupidity:: July 12, 2007
Chiake: You and I are playing badmitton for the Classes Matches.
Julie: Okay, awesome.
CHiake: You do how to play right?
Julie: Um... yeah. DO you think I'm stupid or something?
CHiake: Of course not! But what do you do in American gym classes? I always thought you just watched TV.
Julie: ...
:On Dropping Bombs:: July 4, 2007
Rob: So you are sure they don't understand the F-word?
Julie: Yeah. They usually don't. Plus they don't have an F word in Japanese.
Rob: Good
Julie: WHy?
Rob: Because I was an American dropping so many F-bombs in Japan.
Drew: I knew an American who dropped 2 A-bombs on Japan.
Everybody: *Joke sinks in* Wow.
July 2, 2007: On Why Japan is Oz::
Austin: Julie, why do all the streets have these stupid yellow things that hurt your feet if you walk on them? What are they? What are they used for?
Julie: They're so blind people can get around. You see, they can feel around with their feet on the bumps. And they are yellow so other people stay off them.
Austin: Oh. In Kyoto, some of the group had other ideas. Kind of the, 'Follow the yellow brick road.'
:On Being Crazy:: July 16, 2007
Julie: I'm really nervous about this speech. It's going to be boring.
Paula: No it won't be as bad as Zahra's. But it might be a bit boring.
Julie: Please, can you come?
Paua: I have to work at Kochi University. But I'll tell what I would do. I'd stand in the back of the auditorium and light fireworks off, while wearing a Kamekaze band.
Craig: And that is why you no longer work at Tosajoshi.
:On Safety:: July 15, 2007
Julie: Gosh this country is insane!
Michiyo: What are you talking about?
Julie: My mother only let me come because of the safety. Pff...
Michiyo: But Japan is one of the safest countries in the world.
Julie: You're mad! Last night a typhoon ravaged Kochi, an earthquake in Nagano, and you have North Korea!
Michiyo:...
:On Julie's Speech:: July 17th, 2007
Fukumoto-sensei: Yes, I have seen about 10 years worth of exchange student speeches, and your was by far the best. The most warm and delightful, at least.
Julie: Thank you.
Fukumoto-sensei: Of course, I don't imagine anyone wearing a Kamekaze headband. I mean the only time we wore those was when soldiers were flying airplanes into American ships.
Julie:...
:On Being Sober:: July 17, 2007
Julie: I hate the sound of cracking bones. When I was little the doctor tried to calm me down by joke breaking his nose. He made things worse.
Veronica: But you can't actually break your nose.
Robbie: No it's made of cartiledge.
Veronica: And cartiledge doesn't break?
Julie: See this is why we are cool. While half the group is downstairs getting toasted we are talking about cartiledge.
Robbie: Well we are cool like that.
:On Being Fantasic:: July 17, 2007
Captain Jack: Okay so there are the 4 of us. The 3 men, and you. Kind of the the Fantasic Four.
Julie: Does that make me Jessica Alba?
Captain Jack: No, you make a much better Thing.
:On Stereotypes of Shikoku Folk: July 17, 2007
Captain Jack: Kochi people are the poorest, but also the nicest. They are the most welcoming and down to earth, even though they haven't two nickels to rub together.
Sensou-san: Ehime people are close to the mainland, and wish they weren;t part of SHikoku. Thus they are a very cold. And Kagawa folks are kind of just there.
Nishiyama-san: Tokushima is almost as poor as Kochi, but they are snobby about being a little better off. And so, they are really freaking cheap.
Julie: Hey guys LOOK! A cheap Tokushima person.
Men:Oh god...
:On Drunkness:: July 17, 2007
Julie: I think you are drunk.
Captain Jack: It depends on your definition of being drunk.
Julie: You just got on stage and sang Row Row Row Your Boat in Opera.
Captain Jack: Oh did I?
Julie: Yep
Captain Jack: I think it's time for another drink now then don't you?
July 17, 2007: On Comedians::
Sensou-san: Julie, Masaki-san have you ever considered being a comedian team?
Masaki-san: What?
Nishiyama-san: We have just rode for over an hour with the two of you taking cheap shots at each other and roaring in laughter. It was hilarious.
Julie: Really? I can see it now. "Captain Jack Sparrow and Judii."
Masaki-san: No "Captain Jack Sparrow and Anpanman."
Julie: I'm not fat!
Masaki-san: But you have Anpanman chubby cheeks.
Nishiyama, Sensou: See?!?!?!
:On Being a Scary Student:: July 20, 2007:
Julie: Chiake, you are really mean to the younger students. Give them a break.
Chiake: You would be too if you were club leader. I'm trying to get them ready for the next step. Plus you aren't so nice yourself.
Julie: What? I'm really nice to the younger students.
Chiake: That's because they don't bother you. You scare them. Your really a big scary Gaijin.
Julie: What do they think I might eat them or something?
Chaike: The possibilities are endless.
Julie: STUPID younger students.
:On the Old Julie:: July 17, 2007
Julie: Yeah Japan changed me alot.
Robbie: Yeah?
Julie: Yeah. You might now believe this put the old Julie, would not have knocked on a boys door at 3:30 in the morning and asked him to admit something.
:On Karaoke:: July 24, 2007
Julie: So who is worse at Karaoke? Me or Naoko?
Otosan Masaki: That's a really tough one.
Okasan Masaki: Naoko. Because we have to give Judii extra points for singing in Japanese.
Otosan Masaki: Yes but did you hear her sing Hanamizuki? No! Because you had your ears covered.
:On What Our Age Should Be:: July 23, 2007:
Yosakoi Coach: So you and Judii are host sisters?
Michiyo: Yes.
Yosakoi Coach: DO you go to the same college?
Michiyo: Um...
Julie: I'm a high school student! I'm only 16
Yosakoi Coach: Wow! And Michiyo, you guys muct be in the same class.
Julie: Nope, Michiyo is ancient! She's an old woman! 27, do you believe it?
Michiyo (whispers): I'm going to kill you.
:On What To Do For Goodbye:: July 24, 2007
Masaki Otosan: SO Koto is cancelled?
Julie: Yeah my best friend can't make it because of the All Japan tournament.
Masaki Otosan: Well then what can you do?
Julie: DUnno
Masaki Otosan: *snaps* I got it. You can do a big speech with a Kamekaze headband on your head and make a total fool of yourself, while the rest of sit and laugh. Oh wait you have already done that, right?
Julie: Yeah. And I didn't make a fool of myself, everyone liked it. I guess I could sing Karaoke.
*everyone screams "NO!"*
:On Life Far From Civilization:: July 27, 2007
Okasan Katou: Have you gotten the new Harry Potter book yet?
Julie: I tried but the Book store thought I was mad. They won't have the book toll the turn of the century.
Okasan Katou: Hmm... I wonder why that could be.
Julie: Because this is Kochi
Okasan Katou: True.
Julie: I think they figure country folk can't read.
Okasan Katou: That's not true... it's just... Yep that's probably it.
:On Who To Vote For: July 28, 2007
Candidate: Thank you for coming and supporting me!
Katou Otosan: Oh, Candidate, I want to introduce you to our daughter.
Candidate (looking from me to Otosan with strange looks): She doesn't exactly look like you.
Katou Otosan: I'm just kidding, she is an exchange student from America. We are her host family.
Candidate: Well that's nice. *goes to shake my hand*
Julie: *ognores hand and bows*
Candidate: What is this conspiracy!?! The Gaijin is bowing, while I'm shaking hands. *laughs and walks away*
Katou Otosan: And that is why you won't be getting elected.
:On Coming From France:: July 29, 2007
Drunk Ojisan *English*: You speak Japanese! Where you study?
Julie (creeped out, in Japanese): Here in Kochi
DO: Oh Kochi is yuck place. No good alcohol. You go next to Tokyo. Hey- why you try walk way?
Julie:...
DO: What country you come from?
Julie: France. I don't speak English. Bonjour!
DO: Oh god...
:On Nerves of a Koto Shopper:: July 29, 2007
Julie: Are you guys nervous for the big all Japan Koto tornament?
CHiake: I can't eat.. or sleep...
Casami: Yes and No
Chiake: What do you mean, no?!?!?
Casami: Well I'm not worried about the competition. But the after math has alot of shopping, and I don't have an money.
Chiake: You are so stupid...
:On The Capital of Iowa:: July 30, 2007
Random ALT Gaijin Teacher: So you are thinking of doing another exchange? Where to?
Julie: I don't know. I'm thinking in more of area rather than country.
ALT: Like you wouldn't want to be in the middle of nowhere like Kochi, or if you wanted to go the USA you wanted want to get stuck in Iowa
Julie:Just the opposite. I love Kochi. But then I live in the city, surrounded by country.
ALT: Oh I get it. SO you'd want to go to the big city in the country. Like the capital of Iowa. Little Rock.
Julie: Des Moines wouldn't be so bad either.
:On Big Feet:: August 10, 2007
Michiyo: You have big feet.
Julie: Um... okay
Michiyo: What's worse is that you manage to stomp on my feet at every place we dance at.
Julie: Sorry.
Michiyo: No don't be sorry, it's not your fault your feet are enormous.
:On Being Fat:: July 30, 2007
Julie: I'm tired of people telling me they think they are fat. It seems like that's all anyone thinks about.
Michiyo: THat's because alot of people are fat.
Julie: No alot of people are normal weight.
Michiyo: Well I'm fat.
Julie: Shut up! You not fat.
Michiyo: Yes
Julie: I have an idea, why don't you come to America. We can go to the beach together and sit in our bikini's and complain about how fat we are.
Michiyo: I would look pretty good in America, wouldn;t I?
Julie: Like a broom stick.
Michiyo: I can't wait to come and visit you.
:On Knowing Each Other:: August 6, 2007
Chiake: Oh you have to click Julie's camera button a bit harder.
Taco: I knew that! Yeah you have to click it again.
Casami: Yeah just because the flash thing pops up doesn't mean it takes the picture.
Yoko: Right, that happens all the time!
Julie: Wow, I can't believe you guys all know that!
Chiake: Julie, a year is longer than you think. And we do really like hanging out with you.
Casami: Just not your camera...
:On Being A Little Something Unexpected:: August 6, 2007
Julie: Do you believe it's been almost a year since I got here?
Captain Jack: Well it's been almost a year since we got forced into hosting you.
Julie: Oh... um... sorry.
Captain Jack: Not at all. You turned out to be alot of fun. Our family had a great time, and we wouldn't change it for anything.
Julie: Ow... that's so sweet.
:On Our Own Daughters: August 10, 2007
Julie: Oh Otosan Osaki, you came to see me!
Osaki Otosan: Of course! I wouldn't miss Yosakoi dancing for anything. Neither would Hikari. Especially if you are dancing.
Julie: But what about Kaho and Ebuki, your actual daughter and niece?
Osaki Otosan: Oh yeah. Oh well... they'll never notice anyway.
:On, well... Poop:: August 10, 2007
Julie: (childish handgame) Poop in the barnyard, pee you! Sombody did it, that's you!
Mi-chan's dad: Okay I understand that whole thing in English, except for poop. What's that?
Julie: Please don't make me say that... Okay fine (says it in Japanese)
Mi-chan: I like that. Poop. Poop. PooooP. Pooper Poopy. Poop.
Julie: I've got to top teaching Japanese people Englih
:On Years of Experience:: August 10, 2007
Masaki Otosan: Michiyo? How many years have you been dancing Yosakoi?
Michiyo: This is only my first year. But it won't be my last, I'm having a great time.
Masaki Otosan: What do you mean, your first year? You dance great!
Michiyo: Thanks
Masaki Otosan: On the other hand, you can tell it's Julie's first year dancing Yosakoi.
Julie: Huh? Why?
Masaki Otosan: Because you look like a mangled octopus.
:On Getting Better:: August 11, 2007
Julie: You have to admit, I'm getting better at dancing Yosakoi.
Captain Jack: No you are still a mangled octopus.
*slams hand into his arm*
Captain Jack: Ouch!
Julie: Strong Mangled Octopus, thank you very much
:On GAIJIN!:: August 10, 2007
Naoko: Hey look Judii, there is some Gaijin!
Julie: Where? Oh let me see! Wait... what? Where? I don't see them! Oh wait. OH MY GOD. Yes GAIJIN GAIJIN LOOK LOOK GAIJIN!
Michiyo: Julie, hate to break it to you, but you are a gaijin.
Julie: Wait... oh yeah! I guess I forgot about that.
:On the Last Night:: August 12, 2007
Julie: It seems pretty fitting that the last night would be spend with my favorite host family, 2 older sisters, in a stupid dancing uniform, at my favorite Okonomiacki restaurant.
Captain Jack: Yeah, it is a good way to remember it. Only the first time we were here you made me try your food first to make sure it couldn't kill you.
Julie: Did I really?
Captain Jack: Yeah and back them it was cooked pork. Safe food. Now you are eating raw stuff.
:On Leaving:: August 13, 2007
Osaki Okasan: We are going to miss you
Chiake: I don't want you to go.
Naoko: This is really hard.
Julie: No everybody, listen! I'm not saying goodbye. I'm coming back, I promise you all that. Of course, this is not goodbye. This is see you until next time. See you Later. Got it?
Michiyo: Yep. You are right.
Everybody else: See ya later!
